


Just Ghoul Things

by mrs_schoolweek



Series: Spotty the Ghoul [1]
Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout: New Vegas
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Gender Identity, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Non-Binary Courier, ghoul issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-07
Updated: 2017-03-07
Packaged: 2018-09-30 13:08:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10163693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrs_schoolweek/pseuds/mrs_schoolweek





	

Raul had never been a telltale nor a bigot. Things were as they were and people could be as they pleased and that was fine by him.  
To a certain limit. And the limit was, that he could somehow understand concepts he was dealing with and know the names of things he was trying to process.  
Spotty the Courier was a concept Raul didn't quite get and that made him feel uneasy. Every time he looked at (him - her - it) Spotty, he felt bizarre and agitated. He was an old man from a very traditional, very gender normative culture and the Courier fit none of that. What on earth was it?!

Spotty was a nice, relaxed ghoul allright. Based on the couple of days the had traveled together, Spotty seemed to make morally very justified things, consider his/her/it's actions and be a generally fair person.  
Raul liked all that and even Spotty's warm yet raspy voice. The ghoul sounded friendly.  
The problem was, he couldn't ask but felt that he needed to.  
When they lit a campfire in an old gas station and sat down for the evening, Spotty asked first:  
"Hey, Raul, I'm pretty sure there's something you want to talk about. Your brow muscle has twitched for hours. What's up?"  
Raul shook his head. Was it that obvious, really?  
"Well, boss... I was just wondering: is Spotty a gentleman's or lady's name? I mean, it's hard for a Mexican to tell", he invented quickly. A sucky excuse.  
Spotty laughed and handed Raul a bottle of beer.  
"Spotty is a ghoul name, Raul. Come on, look at me: I'm all spotty, huh? That's pretty much where I got it."

After a long, torturing silence Raul decided to just spit it out and get it over with.  
"So, boss, are you a gentleman or a lady then?" he asked almost shyly. Spotty grinned to him:  
"You're a patient fellow, Raul. We have traveled for days and this is the first time you ask. I mean, smoothskins don't tend to ask but ghouls often do. That's why I prefer smoothskins."  
Raul shrugged and took a sip of beer. It tasted 200-year-old.  
"Sorry then, Boss. I just couldn't figure it out", he mumbled. Spotty didn't look offended, though:  
"It's fine. Pretty much nobody figures it out. Because I ain't either of those."  
This drove Raul crazier than the not-quite dead patch of skin on his back.  
"You got to be something, Boss. Everybody's something", he told Spotty. His tone was confused, a little desperate even.  
"Yeah, Raul. I'm a ghoul, see?"

"I have never asked this before and I'll never ask again but... How do you pee, boss?" Raul managed to ask. Blush (or increased circulation) started to bloom on his peeled cheeks and he had to turn his eyes towards the ground. It was an inappropriate question but he had to know. He would be following this... This person for a long while. There got to be some sort of conclusion!  
"How do you pee, Raul? I bet more than ninety percent of ghouls pee sitting", Spotty told him patiently. Raul uttered a laughter.  
"You won that one, boss. I just want to understand, that's it. Old Raul isn't going to mock you having or not having culebra."  
Spotty looked at the man for a while. Then it giggled.  
"Raul, that... That is beyond amusing. You've seen my rib cage, right? I have duck tape holding my lungs inside. What on earth makes you think I have anything left down there?"

All the sudden, Raul understood how rude he was being. Many ghouls really were lacking certain visible marks of gender because of the decay. How bad would he feel if somebody wanted to know if his cock had fallen off or not?  
"We should... Or I should stop right here, boss. This is not the point I was targeting to", he told Spotty. The other ghoul nodded:  
"Don't worry about it, Raul. It's common for people, especially people from the old world, to categorize things. Want to roast squirrels?"  
"Why not, I have pepper somewhere in my bag. About the old world: you're post-war?" Raul decided to go easier this time. Spotty gave him a warm smile.  
"No, pre-war. You too?" it asked, arranging squirrel sticks near the campfire. Raul started looking for pepper, looking at Spotty from a corner of his eye.  
The ghoul was short and skinny like an adolescent boy, a small handful of light brown  
hair growing from the top of it's head. A sympathetic, cartoonish- looking creature with that wide smile and an oversized pilot jacket.  
"Pre-war. Grew up in Mexico, did all kind of stupid things... Took me a long time to grow up, really", Raul admitted and handed the pepper over.  
"Well, good that you got the expanded timeline then, don't you think? If you're grown up recently, imagine how long it will take for you to grow old", Spotty chuckled and sprinkled pepper all over skinned squirrels. Raul couldn't help but laugh as well.  
"I'm an old man, boss."  
"But young at heart, I can tell. Want another beer?" Spotty asked. Raul took the bottle.  
"See, definitely young at heart. It's just eight o'clock and here we youngsters sit, getting drunk already", Spotty joked. Thinking about it, Spotty really seemed young. Maybe it was the size.  
"What were you like before the war, boss? A human of course, but where did you live? What were you like?" Raul asked. No more loco genital questions, he decided.  
"Me? I was just a youngster working for a local newspaper up north, in Minnesota, actually. I'd just bought my first car when the bombs fell", Spotty told him, a dreamy gaze in it's cloudy eyes. Raul's brain sighed in relief. A car enthusiast! Finally something that made sense.

"So you like cars? I was a mechanic back then. What kind of car did you get?" Raul asked, more confident this time. About this he would talk gladly.  
"A Highwayman: cherry red, white leather benches... I took such a big loan for that I'd still be paying that if the war hadn't started", Spotty growled. It's eyes looked so longing Raul almost bad for the other ghoul. That car sure had been a treat.  
"My girl loved that thing. And I loved it more than my girl", Spotty confessed with a wistful smile. Raul jumped a little. A chance!  
"So...you're into ladies?" he asked. Better already, at least this question was related to the context.  
"Back then, mostly ladies, yeah. But nowadays, it's pretty much just about people with nice personalities, you know", Spotty told him. Raul wondered if he knew. Was Spotty into "people"-people or ghouls too? Or mutants? Confusion made his nails itch.  
"I loved cars ever since I was four... Built at least half a dozen of those things kids drove down hills", Spotty muttered. Raul sighed in relief. Back to the safe topics!  
"You too? Kids in my village came asking for tires and parts to our workshop every once in a while. Once I even helped them build one", Raul told, smiling to the memory. His sister had asked so sweetly... His poor little girl. When Raul lifted his gaze, he felt weird. Like if Spotty knew what he was thinking. The ghoul's expression had turned woeful.  
"When I moved to my own house, there was a garage but no car to keep in it. So I invited kids from the neighborhood to build their little projects in there: toy cars, miniature planes, kites... At first everyone liked it: they were no longer leaving nails on the street, someone was keeping an eye on them... Their mothers even sent me cookies", Spotty whispered and turned away. It tried to make it look like examining frying squirrels.

"One day someone from the area found my full name from the newspaper. It wasn't even supposed to be there! And that was it: everybody thought they "knew" I was a dangerous sodomite, putting the safety of the entire community at risk. In a fourthnight my windows were broken, there was a cross drawn to my door, I'd lost my job and nobody talked to me. Because I had a funny name and I sometimes used stockings and sometimes jeans", Spotty told in a little, weak voice. Raul didn't know what to say. He placed his hand on the other ghoul's shoulder and said "hmm."  
"So yeah, I'm a pre-war and I really wish I wasn't", Spotty spat. It sounded so bitter Raul's heart hurt. He had always assumed being a ghoul was bad.  
"Is there... I mean, how do you wish me to call you, boss?" he managed to ask. Spotty shrugged:  
"I'm just Spotty the Ghoul, Raul."  
Raul started taking crispy squirrel sticks away from the flames. They looked roasted and delicious.  
"Sure, boss. Spotty sounds fine by me. You wish to be he or she, Spotty?" he asked as gently as he could.  
"I... I guess "it" is fine. I'm a radioactive creature after all. Thanks Raul, you're the first one to ask."

Squirrels and the bottle of moonshine they opened warmed up their bellies and made the ghouls feel comfortable and somehow close. As it had turned out, both of them loved motor vehicles, especially fast cars, and there it was: the safe topic both of them wanted to talk about. And when squirrels were finished and they decided moonshine was also a great dessert, they felt even cozier.  
"You know, Raul... I think it is good to ask even stupid questions", Spotty said him and patted his shoulder.  
"Huh?", Raul was slightly confused, his mind still wandering on fast cars.  
"About the whole gender thing. The more you ask, the less you assume and come up with inside your own head", Spotty answered honestly and took a better position on it's bedroll next to the fire. Raul raised his brow-leftovers.  
"Glad to hear you think so, boss. If I was you, I'm pretty sure I'd be dead tired with people asking if my thing's fallen off", he told Spotty. The ghoul grinned.  
"Well, has it? I bet fifty caps that it has", it growled with a rasp so vibrating it was likely a hidden laughter. Raul shook his head with a smile.  
"You owe me fifty, Spotty. I still have plenty of it left", he answered. Spotty bursted into loud laughter.  
"Well maybe you do, old man. But Spotty bets another fifty that you don't use it anywhere close as much as you wish", it snarked. Raul shrugged his shoulders and took a swing of moonshine:  
"That makes us even, boss. Damn right I don't. I'm so unbelievably holy that it would be a sin, boss. Holy." His tone underlined the word just enough that Spotty got it and almost choked to a giggle.

"There's sometimes very much truth behind humor, Raul. If I weren't just a courier carrying weird packages around, I'd say you really have some self esteem issues", Spotty said in a lower, more gentle voice as the laughter had settled. Raul bit his lip. Not exactly the topic he wanted to talk about. Back to the cars?  
"I can see your brow twitching again, pal. Come on, we're pre-war ghouls. I know you have "grown up slowly" but hey, it's about the time to get that over with", Spotty said and leaned a little closer. Not too much but enough to make Raul feel he didn't have to talk loudly to respond.  
"What are you now, Spotty? A therapist? What happened to delivering packages", Raul muttered but didn't lean away. Hell, if there was a time or a place in the world to talk about him, why couldn't it be here?  
"You know, boss... You remember when I decided to come with you? That's pretty much what my life has been like for a long time. I'm just an old ghoul: it doesn't make much difference where I go or what I do", he said and hid behind the moonshine bottle again.  
"I'm just an old ghoul as well, Raul. Look at me, come on! Look at ol' Spotty. What do you see?", Spotty encouraged. Raul lifted his eyes to Spotty's eye level and really looked.  
"I see... You, boss? Come on, what am I supposed to see?", he sighed. But the longer he looked, the more he saw. Edges of yellow, cracked teeth. Freckles blending together with small spots of necrosis. Wrinkles from smiling, wrinkles from frowning, wrinkles of worries and sadness. Spotty was old. It had seen a lot for sure. Spotty had experienced a lot: loss and fear, love and joy, belonging and separation. No matter how many silly giggles and jokes Spotty made, that wouldn't hide the depth inside.  
"Now, let me guess. All you thought could be said about you as well. But you know what... I see more: a mustache of a manly man, a gaze of a real gunslinger, a smile of a curious man. You're much more than an old ghoul, Raul", Spotty whispered and smiled. Raul couldn't help but smiled back:  
"And no matter what you are, boss, you're one hell of a courier. And you have balls, I got to say. Even if you really don't."

"So... What is it that makes you nervous about me, Raul?" Spotty asked, smiling reassuringly. Raul put some moor wood to the fire to look busy.  
"It isn't about you, boss. It's just that... I don't get the thing, really. What are you?"  
Spotty placed it's hand on Raul's hand and pressed, very gently. The touch was warm and rough, just like Spotty's voice.  
"I'm still warm, see? Not a corpse. That's the beauty of being a ghoul, Raul. We aren't zombies: there's just more of the human peeking from the cracks of our costume. The real color we're all made of. Not "men" or "women", "Mexicans" or "people from Minnesota", "whites" or "blacks". It's just me in here: old Spotty."  
With a smile, the ghoul pulled it's hand back. Raul was very silent for a long time. He didn't have anything left to say, but somehow that felt good. It was all said now and he could just sit there and have some more moonshine with Spotty.

"What are you into then, Raul? I bet you're into ghoul stuff, fifty caps", Spotty said when it was sure the magic had vanished. Raul blinked in disbelief.  
"Ghoul stuff? Now you're making your own rules, boss. There isn't such thing", he responded, laughing. When they'd get to Vegas, Spotty would probably gamble it's own clothes.  
"Sure there is. Come on, Raul, admit it. You know what I mean", Spotty teased.  
"Ghoul stuff: bondage, biting, non-penetrative sex, gunplay, hair and skin kinks, dirty talk...? You got to know!"  
Raul rubbed his forehead. Some of them sounded familiar allright, but ghoul stuff? He didn't think so. It had to depend on something else.  
"If you're sore from down there... I tell you, it's ghoul stuff", Spotty rattled with a grin. One day, it would so take Raul to one of those ghoul-friendly brothels in the Wastes. And collect it's fifty caps, of course. And his cozy, relaxed smile.  
Raul grinned back and offered a firm handshake.  
"Fifty for Spotty who takes an hour to finish and I'm in", he answered.  
"Because smartasses like you... It takes you five minutes to get over with it and fifty-five to hear, how damn good you were. Right, boss?"  
"I'll say you're into gun play: specifically with small-caliber pistols like yours, and let's make it a hundred, shall we?"  
"You'll pick a whore with pretty white skin and cherry-red hair. I'm in with a hundred, Spotty."


End file.
